How To Help Black Men Become Better Through the Power of Travel
By Leroy Adams
Photo Credit: Dudley Edmundson
Boyz N The Wood—an outdoor retreat program that brings Black men together for rest, brotherhood, and reconnecting them to the outdoors—is providing a blueprint for how to help Black men through the power of travel.
Throughout the year, I join the group on their retreats, capturing the stories of the men, joining them in activities on the agenda, and documenting the impact of these retreats. Last year, it was their trip to Seattle where I discovered how these trips allowed Black men, whose youth is often fed to jail cells, to return to their childhood through a camping experience. While in Minnesota, this return to youth and fun remains present, and this time, it was accompanied by discussions on ancestral healing practices and personal growth while discovering ourselves on hikes through snow-covered mountains or skiing across frozen lakes.
Boyz N The Wood reminds us that travel and connecting to the outdoors can lead to self-discovery, strengthen brotherhood, and build better men. Below, I share three ways this happens and include voices from a few of the trip's men who validate this transformation.
Photo Credit: Boyz N The Wood
Discovering New Places: The Healing Power of New Environments
Photo Credit: Uzoma Obasi
The night was as black as the long night (there is no Night King in this story). Beneath the stairs that led to the lake was a glowing green light that ended when it touched the ice. Blinded by the darkness, we used our phone lights to guide us across the two feet thick ice. True Game of Thrones fans will recall the scene of the dead army crossing a frozen lake in episode six of season seven. That was us, except very much alive and afraid of this ice-breaking beneath us. Oh, we laughed as well. What was going on? We're in Minnesota in the dead of night with the galaxies as clear as day above us, walking, well sliding, across Bearskin Lake frozen with ice two feet thick…on a Thursday night!
Collectively, in this new, scary, and unbelievable experience, we were settling in, embracing the environment and the brothers with us. The cold, fresh air filled our lungs as we practiced patience and teamwork to cross the ice safely. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that some brothers were not down with the after-dark arrival time. "It's something about getting to a place before the sun is down for me," shared one of the men from Florida. "I need to know where I'm at and, "… before he could finish, another brother completed his sentence with, "and what's around me," both confirming (and validating) what women say on social media about being able to go "brainless" when they're with their man. We're always on guard while they can rest their minds. Perhaps it also reveals the lasting effects of the generational trauma from sundown towns. Whatever it is, some brother made sure to be in the van that would stick to a timely schedule. I missed that van.
Photo Credit: Boyz N The Wood
We safely crossed the ice to the cabins. We dabbed each other up as we looked back at what we had crossed. Camp Menoygn is a perfect destination to rediscover your love for the outdoors, tucked away in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness on West Bearskin Lake. The glowing galaxies bursting with stars of all sizes, the endless snow-covered trees, the frosty mountains, and the football field-sized lake frozen to ice all blanketed with frosty mist, creating ice cycles on our beards - had us wondering what adventure awaits the rest of the weekend.
The following day, I met with Andrew Brown, a Human Resource manager from Baltimore, to ask what inspired him to come on this trip and what memory he would walk away with. He emphasized the opportunity to get out in nature with other brothers:
“I don't do much hiking or get outdoors much, so I wanted to experience nature with people who look like me in a safe space. I never imagined I would walk across a frozen lake. It was exciting. That's something I'll always take with me. It gave me time to reflect on being out in nature on frozen water with uninterrupted views of the stars. It gives you time to reflect on yourself and life.”
One of the men looks back on the frozen Bearskin lake.
Photo credit: Boyz N The Wood
Shared Experiences Through Brotherhood: Breaking Down Walls
A few of the men relax outside of the sauna.
Photo credit: Leroy Adams
Amidst the frigid temperatures, frozen lakes, and frost, there was a sauna on the campgrounds. One night, mainly on a dare, a few of us in the group decided to relax in the sauna before plunging our bodies into 30-degree ice water. It was like dipping into another ice tub after a game for the athletes among us. While in the sauna, we recognized the Ojibwe - one of the first native american tribes to call the land home - and talked about the purification and healing practices of the sweat lodges used by the tribe. Native American sweat lodge ceremonies include rites of preparation, prayer, and purification. These ceremonies involve heating stones until red hot, bringing them into the darkened chamber, and pouring water or aromatic herbal teas to punctuate the participants' rounds of fervent prayer.
We went around the sauna as brothers from Minnesota or nearby states shared their admiration of the local tribes and their ancient traditions. One of those men was a brother named Aaron, whose Instagram bio reads, "Most of all, I'm about healing, connection, and helping others.” He elaborated on the significance of the sweat lodge to the Ojibew people:
"The sweat lodge played a significant role in indigenous communities' efforts to bring about personal and social healing. Native Americans today claim the sweat lodge, as they call it, as an important spiritual tradition, widely shared and resonates with intertribal Native identity. This is especially true for many Native people who have been raised apart from their specific tribal traditions. It is said that those who undergo the sweat lodge ceremony together become relatives."
This led to a conversation about our enslaved ancestors' healing and spiritual traditions and how we, as descendants, could use saunas or sweat lodges in our communities to reconnect with those traditions. In a vulnerable tone, one brother from L.A. said, "To be honest, I think about that strength when I have to do sh*t that feels hard. Like jumping in this cold ass water with you all. On the real, if my ancestors can survive what they did, then I can find the strength to overcome temporary discomfort." Facts, facts, the rest of us agreed.
The sauna served as place for collective healing and self exploration.
Photo Credit: Boyz N The Wood
This shared moment wasn't just about physical healing but about spiritual connection, acknowledging the resilience that runs through our veins. As we left the sauna, walking barefoot onto the thick snow towards the icy plunge, the laughter and nervousness shared became a testament to our collective courage and vulnerability. Each of us had rediscovered something about the resilience within and learned something about the man next to us. Like myself, Aaron, and the brother from L.A., he was invested in personal healing, recognizing the history of this land before us, and honoring our ancestors by facing life's challenges with the same strength and resilience they carried across the Atlantic. Within the sauna's walls, sweat dripping from our half-naked bodies leaving us lighter absent of the heavy emotions we carry, discussing life's crossroads or the quiet understanding that echoed our insecurities, we dismantled the walls we had built around us.
In the stillness of the night and the cold rush of the water improving our resilience and stress management, we found strength in our shared struggles, embracing the comfort of knowing we were not alone in our journey to get and be better.
Photo Credit: Boyz N The Wood
Rest, Healing, and Personal Discovery: The Path to Inner Peace
Photo Credit: Dudely Edmundson
At every Boyz N The Wood retreat, Robert Bailey, the certified therapist on the founding team, leads a one-hour workshop on rest, trauma, and healing, serving as a catalyst for introspection and growth. You can't help but get inspired by Robert's passion for the subject. He's animated, locked in, and acceptably loud as he helps us confront our deepest traumas in a space intentionally curated to help us pursue healing to be better leaders and men for our communities, families, and ourselves. Encouraged by the quietness of Camp Menogym, the discussions that followed his sessions were raw and honest, reflecting the safe space we had collectively created.
My first time seeing Rob in action was during the Seattle retreat in the north Cascades. During that discussion, I learned things about myself, like how my ownership of my previous failed relationship was crippling any ability to move on with my life. Accepting that relationships are a two-way street, I shouldn't hold that weight alone. In essence, I was choosing myself. I left feeling lighter and uplifted. In Minnesota, it was no different.
Immediately after his first session, another guy and I started sharing how things were going. One of the younger men, perhaps in his mid to late twenties, on the trip who was from the DMV area, shared with me how he was currently struggling to balance what he wanted in life with the desires of a partner he was committed to for the long run. "My girl, who I love and am committed to, wants kids. I don't want kids. I've told her I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I don't know how to move forward with honoring what she wants while staying true to myself." It felt like he had been holding on to this weight for quite some time. He was locked in like Martin with Gina, always giving her messages of security and commitment, but it didn't feel like enough. I shared with him about my breakdown on the day I proposed to my now fiancé. I told him I broke down in an Office Depot on the day I contemplated the weight of my decision and the responsibility of leading this woman, and eventually a family, in life. I felt alone then, unable to think of anyone my junior could call and talk to.
Photo Credit: Leroy Adams
Did we solve all our problems in these moments? Of course not; they're complex. What we discovered was a way forward: how to have those tough conversations with our partners and how to remove the things in our lives that were reinforcing our depression, anxiety, self-doubt, or exhaustion.
I asked Zirksy, one of the brothers deeply connected to the woods of Minnesota, what inspired him to come on this trip. He emphasized the importance of thinking about those who come before and after us:
"The lineage, time, and the legacy. The lineage of each step we take affects not only us. It's affecting each person who has supported us to be here and everyone who will come after us. This is the first time in over twenty years I have ever seen this many of us together in this space. Post-George Floyd, it was great to see us come together so quickly to collaborate and explore with the memory of George Floyd."
The men gather on the ice preparing to learn ice fishing.
Photo credit: Leroy Adams
During a break, as we shuffled our Uno cards, scrambled the dominoes, or sat silently completing a puzzle, we discussed or contemplated accountability, reminding ourselves, as Rob had, that “simple does not mean easy.” The decision to get and be better, remove excuses, and prioritize healing and growth for the better of our family and ourselves was a simple choice, but the work may not be easy. Commitment and discipline are required. Often, the daily demands of our lives - building a career, providing for our children and partners, remembering to invest for the next generation, pursuing home ownership, hitting the gym, staying desirable in the eyes of our partners, the list goes on - makes committing to rest, healing, and growth feel like another to-do list item. We found solace and encouragement in knowing that other men were also experiencing the same thing and that we could uplift and rely on each other when necessary.
One of the men finds rest in puzzles.
Photo credit: Leroy Adams
Osric from Durham shared with me why he would recommend a Boyz N The Wood retreat to other men in his community:
"The value they would get from these trips is community. Realizing that these spaces belong to us and always have. Our ancestors, no matter where you come from, have been skilled at the outdoors. It was stolen from us, and we need to reclaim it. Boyz N The Woods helps us reclaim our histories and legacies."
Photo Credit: Dudley Edmundson
Gift Him a Trip
Photo Credit: Dudley Edmundson
There's a joke within society about how women struggle to find meaningful gifts for men. Sometimes, we don't need a tie or cologne. I would encourage a solo or group trip with his friends. Traveling - discovering new places, getting out of your comfort zone, and self-discovery - is a priceless gift many of us never receive. For the men on this Boyz N The Wood trip, it was a gift they needed. From walking across a frozen lake in the dead of night guided by the galaxies, to learning how to dig holes in the ice for ice fishing, to cross-country skiing across that frozen lake, to relaxing in the cabins lost in a game of dominoes or a puzzle, to exploring the ancient healing tradition of native american tribes and discussing how to heal and grow for ourselves, each brother on that trip left with pride, an expanded brotherhood, rested, and focus to for what life had waiting for us as we return home.
Photo Credit: Boyz N The Wood
Through travel, we find rest, brotherhood, and ourselves.