What’s Next: PhD or Passport?
By Donovan Handy
Hello, how are you doing?
My name is Donovan Handy. I am a twenty-one-year-old student at the University of Texas - Austin. For the majority of my young life I have identified as a student which, if I may add, I've excelled at. In 2019, I graduated high school as Valedictorian. The following year, I started my Freshman year at UT-Austin. And, this year, I will graduate in the top 4% of my class.
As a child, I was a dreamer. Fantasy novels were like air, and video games were like water. I lived and breathed them. I would imagine, someday, I would live life as they did in the stories. Maybe my godly parents would claim me like Percy from the Percy Jackson stories. Perhaps, I could transport to a new realm like Jason from the Beyonders. I loved thinking about adventuring to the ends of the Earth. And, by God, I planned to make this lifestyle a part of my future. That is, until high school. I became consumed with my academics. Sports and classwork would become my life. Gradually, my dreams and fantasies of becoming a global adventurer would fade away. Adulthood and the responsibilities that come with it convinced me that adventures were for children. Regrettably, I listened.
In college, I continued to excel academically. As a psychology major in graduate school, I am required to conduct a research project. With the embers of adventure and curiosity still lingering in my spirit, I researched the intersection of spirituality and lucid dreaming. The topic sounded exciting to me. I felt it would give me an excuse to explore the fantastical concepts I would daydream about as a child. As a result of my exceptional research, I attended conferences around the country adopting the role of an academic as I presented my research.
It was fun, it was enjoyable, but the entire time I felt the need for… more.
It was fun and enjoyable, but I felt the need for more. I felt like an anomaly in my environment. Internally, I felt this incredible sensation of wanderlust. During a trip to UCLA, where I was presenting at a conference, I took my skateboard and rode around the city allowing my mind to wander. I instantly became the young kid (again) gliding down the streets hoping to get lost in my fantasies.
Where did the adventure go? The excitement? The wonder?
The intense longing to wander and explore almost brought me to tears. At that moment, I decided I would do one of the scariest things I have ever done: I would not pursue my Ph.D. and instead take a gap year and travel the world. No more wondering or daydreaming about where the adventure and excitement went. Instead, I would go and find it. I looked at my life. No wife. I don't have any children. I haven’t started my professional career. Nothing was keeping me here in the U.S. Why not explore and see with my own eyes what this world has to offer me beyond the classroom?
“If I only took that job in Korea, I could have been a superstar by now.”
“If I only took that gap year, I would have had the energy to actually finish my degree when I came back.”
“If I only moved to London to follow my photography career instead of staying in Boston for this job, my face would be on billboards.”
Far too often, I hear the stories of the grandparent or the overworked cubicle worker reminiscing on what their life would have been like if they only (insert brave life choice here). I did not want to become this person.
Now, why did I share all of that with you?
First, to introduce myself. I'm Donovan, an inspiring world traveler. Second, to let you know you're not alone. Keep reading.
So, what now?
Here on campus, I am the president of the Heman Sweatt Center for Black males. As members of this organization, young men get to participate in study abroad and international educational trips. Our next trip will launch our inaugural global leadership program with a trip to Ghana. We will arrive in Accra, travel to Kumasi, then to Cape Coast, and finally back to Accra. One of the planned activities includes a workout on the beach where we'll visit an old slave-trading tower. I imagine we'll gain a lot of perspective from this experience. We'll also visit The Last Bath - the last place slaves from this region were held before they were boarded onto ships and sent to the Americas. This will be my second international trip and first time visiting an African country. I can't begin to describe what I imagine will be a hair-raising chilling experience for this group of Black young men.
As you can see, my first trip will be very heavy, but the next, not so much.
During spring break, I will be going to Dubai and Abu Dhabi on an exposure trip. This will be my second time in the region. Last year, I took this same trip with the diversity division at school. It was my first time leaving the country. I had many preconceived ideas about the Middle East before the trip. I was nervous and unsure of my decision. In fact, I backed out of the program (and trip) one month before the deadline. I tried to do it quietly so no one could hold me accountable or try to convince me to go. My plan was to stop going to the mandatory classes for the trip and slip by unnoticed. I was simply too nervous and hesitant about going. To me, there were too many things that could go wrong. I had never even been on an international flight before. 15 hours in the sky?! Nah, I'm good.
Yes, I was looking for every excuse.
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on who you ask) my plan was found out and thwarted by my mentors. My school was offering me a one-week trip to Dubai and Abu Dhabi. I wasn't going to be alone; they would be there every step of the way, providing me with support. They presented a strong case and in the end, I decided to go. It turned out to be the greatest experience of my life. I mean, I rode on a camel. At the time, that was the coolest thing I had ever done. The experiences and personal bonds made during that week inflicted me with the travel bug. This time, I will be visiting cultural hubs like the Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum Centre for Cultural Understanding in Dubai and the Qasr Al Qatan Palace in Abu Dhabi. I loved that we get the chance to explore and create our own adventures and itineraries. Last year, I could not wrap my mind around the fact that I was on the other side of the world experiencing how another society operates. I got to see how people live differently than my friends and I. I quickly learned how big (and different) the world is.
So many things that I thought were essential to a positive living experience were not the same over there. For example, the belief that we need large police forces in our communities was not shared over there. In Dubai and Abu Dhabi I never saw the police. I also didn't encounter any situation where I would need one. To be transparent, I accidentally stole a meal over there!
Contrary to American culture, no one asks you to pay in Dubai, so without this reminder, I left without paying. The next day, I returned to the restaurant and was informed that I did not pay for my meal the previous day. I paid for that meal, my current one (I remembered this time), and left a little extra for the trouble.
No police involved, no nothing. I guess I was so used to seeing police interact with Black people over less that I was surprised no one called them on me for accidentally leaving without paying.
A simple mistake met with understanding.
This was an example of the perspective I gained outside of America. Last, but not least, on my world-walking itinerary, I intend to backpack Europe, most likely directly after the Dubai trip. I want to start in Greece.
Why Greece? Well, let me tell you.
I have been a fan of mythologies since I was a child. It started with Percy Jackson, of course. I could never get enough of the way the natural world came to life with agency and powers through these deities. To me, mythology imbued the ordinary world with wonder and fantasy. In Greece, I want to visit the Parthenon in Athens to observe the ornate carvings of mythological stories on the pillars. I want to visit the island of Delos - the island of the gods where, apparently, it is illegal to be born or die there (how they will punish a dead person, I have no idea). I want to soak up all the history and see myself as one of the characters in the books that defined my childhood. I haven't decided where I will go next after Greece.
I have not fully planned my 3-month backpacking trip. I would like to leave some room for the unexpected allowing my feet to take me wherever they choose to go.
Fortunately, the first two trips will be funded by my university. A sort of reward for my outstanding academic performance and the good reputation I have built on campus.
The backpacking trip will be funded by myself and my lovely parents. They have been very supportive of my decision to postpone school and take a gap year of traveling the world.
At first, my father was a bit hesitant to hear the words “gap year” because to him that sounded like a year of me sitting on his couch. After I made it clear what I wanted to do with my life, he expressed nothing but support. My mother was on board from the jump. I know some of my friends and a lot of Black students often don't have the support of their family and community when they decide to study or move abroad. That wasn't the case for me. Are my parents nervous? Perhaps, but they haven't allowed their feelings to impact my decisions. I have been blessed to have an infinitely supportive family and community. This has only strengthened my resolve to go and see what the world has to offer.
There is also the elephant in the room.
I am a young, Black man traveling abroad. Regarding my trips to Ghana, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, I'm not tripping about this so much. Most of the students in the programs are either Black or identify with a minority group. However, the backpacking trip will be a whole new monster. I am not sure what to expect as a young, Black man traveling across predominantly white European countries.
I am worried that I will feel like the odd one out and that most of the people I meet will not understand my experiences in this world.
At the end of this trip, I suspect I would have gained a greater understanding of the human experience. Back home, it is easy to feel like a cog in the machine. Someone just going through the motions. Traveling abroad and experiencing these new places, people, and cultures will allow me to see the breadth of what it means to be human. To see people live off the land, in the mountainside, and learn how people love and disagree with each other differently.
I am both nervous and excited about my gap year traveling through Europe. I don't know what I will find, discover or who I will meet. And, this time I'm not afraid of this feeling. Honestly, I'm almost brought to tears when I think about what this experience will do for my spirit, outlook on life, and how I view myself in the world.
I hope you enjoyed my story. If you want to follow my travel journey, check out the next issue as I go from university student to world traveler.
If you want to follow along with my journey, check out the next issue to see me transfer from a university student to a world traveler.